Learning the alphabet the religious way.

Here’s a Tweet that got me thinking, mainly because I couldn’t access the link.

So instead of looking for information on what this might mean, I came up with another idea:

The religious alphabet

A = Atheist – Someone who believes the universe was an accident.
B = Bent – Everybody has a religious bent.
C = Creationist – Someone who believes the universe wasn’t an accident.
D = Dawkins – A great proseletyser of Atheism.
E = Evangelical – I thought it would make Dawkins sufficiently uncomfortable to be stuck between a creationist & an evangelical.
F = Fanatics with fervour – Like Osama; the Ayatullah; Dawkins or me.
G = God – This is after all what it’s all about.
H = Holy – You know, like an old sock.
I = Indignant – How people feel when someone challenges their beliefs.
J = Judgemental – Most people make judgements of your character based on your religion, good or bad.
K = Karma – The idea that if you say bad things about peoples beliefs, they’ll say bad things about yours.
L = Left – When you aren’t right.
M = Mock – How to make other peoples beliefs look silly while making yourself look bad.
N = Nonsense – There’s a lot of this in discussions on the Metaphysical.
O = Open minded – Not being selective about the information entering the central database. See “N”
P = Patient – Someone who has said something bad about a fanatic’s beliefs.
Q = Quote – For when you can’t think for yourself.
R = Right – Those who aren’t left if there’s a rapture.
S = Saint – Not sure, it may be the past participle of sane.
T = Tolerance – Caring more about upsetting people than about standing up for your beliefs.
U = Unity – Something caused by an excess of tolerance.
V = Vein – Something the blood comes out of between upsetting a fanatic and becoming a patient.
W = Weeding – The process of removing unwanted information after having an open mind.
X = Someone who used to believe.
Y = The question I’m asking myself regarding having done this.
Z = The sound that you’re making after reading this.


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